The ships are heading into rough waters, guys. And while that was a pretty good pun, this is a serious matter. Because when I say the ships, I mean ALL of them: Ezria, Haleb, Spoby, and Paily.

We pick up right where we left off with the Liars + Caleb trying to figure out who took out a storage unit in Hanna’s name. Okay, so I guess they already know who did since they keep saying Alison and Holbrook did it. But in this show that typically means that the storage unit belongs neither to Ali or Holbrook. My money’s still on Det. Tanner. But more on that later.

Most of the episode consists of Hanna trying to figure out how to break into the storage unit and get rid of the Mona-body-barrel so she can’t be accused of murder. And yes, we are calling it the Mona-body-barrel. I was kinda hoping for a Holbrook-body-barrel but in regards to the previews from next week, I don’t think I’m gonna get that.

Reality Check: it totally makes sense that the storage unit in which a murderer hid her victim’s body would not be registered in the murder’s name. That would absolutely be the first place a cop would check! If a person was going to murder someone, she wouldn’t put the victim in a storage unit with her name on it. That’s just stupid. But I would like to know why it’s so easy to rent a storage unit under someone else’s name. I mean, there should be some way to make sure it’s the actual person signing up or else every murderer in the country could be pulling this one.

But back to Hanna. So she spends a while looking up chemical resistant gloves and what not, despite the fact that the FIRST thing the police in Rosewood take from a murder suspect is their laptop! (I’m assuming they can look at the search history). I mean, c’mon Hanna, at least have the sense to use the internet on your phone. Anyhow, Hanna somehow gathers all these majestic materials needed in a few hours, recruits an unwilling Caleb, and treks off to the storage unit to commit several felonies. No big deal. I would also like to point out that Caleb said the lock on the unit was hard to crack but somehow Hanna knew the exact drill that would break it. Once inside, after some debate, Haleb decide to leave the barrel (even though they went through A TON of trouble to get to it) and begin to leave the building. But it’s never that easy. On the way out, Haleb run into Toby and Det. Tanner who is totally onto them. Haleb wriggle their way out, but not very well.

When they arrive back at Caleb’s apartment, Hanna suggests Caleb stay away from her so he won’t have to go to prison with her if it comes to that. Caleb tells Hanna that if they get arrested, they’ll be locked up together (just not in the same facility) *swoon*. The couple that’s okay with going to jail together, stays together.

On the other hand, the couple where one moves to Cali and the other stays in Pennsylvania…doesn’t stay together. Sorry Paily fans, it looks like it’s over. Emily has moved on to Talia…who still annoys me but we won’t discuss that. I know it’s rough because you just got Paily back and only had them for about two episodes, buy it will be okay. No one is ever really broken up on this show. Just look at Ezria.

Ah Ezria. So moving, beautiful, perfect, and depressing at the same time. After Aria tells Ezra about the “I squandered my high school years dating an older man” college essay (yes, I will ALWAYS refer to it by that name), he’s not very upset. He tells her that he realizes what she did and that it was actually a pretty good move. But nothing’s ever that easy on this show. After he rereads it, he begins to see some truth in it. He later tells Aria that if they stay together, she’ll miss her best years (college) like she already missed high school and he knows she’ll regret it. Aria tries to argue but promises she’ll think about a relationship hiatus. After combing through her yearbook, she looks under her picture and finds that she has not been a part of one club throughout high school. In Ezra and Aria’s defense, it’s neither of their faults that she wasn’t in more clubs. She was being stalked by a crazy person the whole time. Meanwhile, the guy next to her in the yearbook plays basketball, football, and baseball amongst various other clubs. No way that kid did all that stuff.

And when they’re not dealing with relationship drama, the Liars are out searching for even more drama. Spemaria (Spencer, Emily, and Aria) head to an abandoned ice cream factory (I didn’t know such a thing could ever exist) in search of Mona’s laptop which pinged their phones when it was moved by an unknown person. Once inside the factory, the Liars decide to split up because they’ve apparently NEVER SEEN THIS SHOW BEFORE and aren’t aware that splitting up doesn’t end well…and this time, it’s no different. After finding the laptop, which was clearly an –A trap, Sparia (Spencer and Aria) are locked inside some sort of super intense, crazy cold freezer where they can die in like 15 seconds. This really reminds me of Caleb’s kiln scene (leave a comment on which one you think is worse: kiln or freezer). But Emily comes to the rescue of Sparia. She destroys the power box to the freezer (that for some reason still works in an abandoned factory), and frees Spencer and Aria.

But onto the next ship. After Haleb is done with their beautiful moment, Hanna heads to Spencer’s house to discuss running into Toby and Det. Tanner. A Spanna fight ensues that leaves Spencer calling Toby on repeat for the next couple of hours. Toby is about to answer her call when Tanner walks in. She tells him that she knows Ali had help with the murder and that if Mona’s body is in that barrel, the Liars are all coming in for questioning. Toby takes this time to bring up his theory about Holbrook. Tanner is furious that Toby who has “been a cop for all of 6 minutes” is accusing his superior. While I don’t like that Tanner didn’t listen to his theory, I really like that she put him in his place. Why is he already a part of major murder investigations and taking everything so seriously when he’s been a cop for like two weeks? He needs to start off with parking tickets or something. I mean, the kid already has his own desk with a computer. I realize cops in the town are dropping like flies (i.e. Garret and Wilden) but there can’t be that big of a shortage that the rookie gets his own desk and computer.

When Toby finally answers the phone, he tells Spencer he’s working late (lie) and that he’s been buried in paperwork all day (more lies). Spencer begs him to tell her if the police think Mona’s body is in the barrel but he says he can’t tell her. She tearfully asks him to come over to her house so they can discuss everything but he tells her he’ll be working really late and can’t come (MORE LIES). He hangs up on sad, sobbing Spencer, climbs in the truck THAT SHE BOUGHT HIM and drives off. I’m rather sick of Toby putting Spencer down, but maybe it’s like the whole “pretending not to love you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done” and “-A team” situations and he actually has a plan. (Comment if you think he does). But I have to say, if Spoby can’t make it, I don’t know if any of our dear ships can.

And lastly, the –A shot. We see –A back at the ice cream factory examining the Liars’ handprints on the window to the freezer. Many fans think this proves the Det. Tanner theory- I mean fingerprints, that’s pretty good…EVIDENCE. Haha, I’m so funny. Anyway, other fans think this means what’s most obvious:   -A now has the Liars’ prints. I don’t really know what you can do with handprints that are on a wall, but I guess –A would. And maybe some of you do, so sound off in the comments if you know. Also, be sure to leave us any –A theories.

Some things worthy of pointing out:

• Can you even still block your ID on text message?
• Why is every cop in Rosewood corrupt? Really though, Toby’s been a cop for like 3 minutes and is already semi-corrupt.
• Do the Liars EVER go to school? Maybe that’s why they’ve been seniors for 4 seasons. They’re never in class. Even when they’re at school they’re either at swim practice, chatting in the bathroom, or not so subtly hitting on their teacher.
• Where are the parents?!
• This show just creates more and more loose ends without tying up old ones. I will not be surprised if the series finale is 3 hours long as a result of them having to explain everything.
• Keegan Allen (Toby) knows who –A is and said it’s embarrassingly obvious once you know who it is. So basically, when they reveal who –A is, I’m going to do an entire series re-watch to look for signs

Article by Victoria Shircliffe