5 Fun Saint Patrick’s Day Fun Facts

Stelle Bensenhaver, Satire Columnist

March 17th, also known as Saint Patrick’s Day, is a holiday celebrated by numerous Americans and Irish alike, to commemorate the titular Saint Patrick, the epic snake fighting saint. But how much do you really know about this holiday? Here are the top 5 fun facts that are often forgotten when it comes to Saint Patrick’s Day.  

  1. Saint Patrick wasn’t actually Catholic. Or Irish. Unfortunately, the media has lied to you because Patrick was a British Christian (not a catholic), which means fried fish is more Catholic than an actual Catholic saint. 
  2. We wear green on Saint Patrick’s Day to symbolize the snakes that Patrick drove out of Ireland. To show support of our serpentine brethren, we wear green in commemoration to remind ourselves that we, just like the snakes, can make biblical proportion mistakes that can be kindly drawn out by a kind Irish shepherd.  
  3. McDonald’s Shamrock Shake, which was invented specifically for this holiday, has an interesting history! It has captured the heart of millions of Americans since its invention in 1967, and McDonald’s anthropomorphic purple taste bud, Grimace, even had an Irish extended family member who would pop out every March to spread Irish cheer, along with vaguely minty frozen concoctions. Unfortunately, Uncle O’Grimacey was discounted on account of being associated with the IRA, so if you want a fun Irish McDonald’s mascot, you have to keep on dreaming, brother. 
  4. Lucky Charms are another staple of vaguely Irish themed American food, except unlike the Shamrock Shake, you can find them all year round. Just like real Irish people, they don’t disappear after March. If you want to feel Irish-ly festive all year long, grab yourself a sweet bowl of high fructose corn syrup and dehydrated marshmallows.  
  5. Irish Wolfhounds are a forgotten part of Saint Patrick’s Day lore. Saint Patrick actually had a friendly canine companion named Sputnik, a large Irish Wolfhound, who went around spooking snakes with Patrick. Unfortunately, the Soviets heard of this magical snake-fighting hound, and they shot him up into space so his power could be contained.  

Saint Patrick’s Day is the only holiday that matters and now you know why.