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AHS Rocket Launch

How to Not Forget Your Friends Over the Summer

Stelle Bensenhaver, Satire Columnist May 22, 2023

With 3 months of summer ahead of us, this extraneous amount of time may be daunting for you and your acquaintances. However, we here at the Rocket Launch have science-backed data to help prevent this.   ...

The Fascinating History of the Importance of the Turkey in the United States

Stelle Bensenhaver, Satire Columnist December 30, 2022

The turkey is the most noble bird in America. One could argue that the bald eagle is the most influential bird to the United States, but even Benjamin Franklin agreed that the turkey should have been the...

The Best Way to Keep your Friends Over Christmas Break

Stelle Bensenhaver, Satire Columnist December 24, 2022

The holiday season is approaching, but friendship, which can already be a challenge, may be quite the seasonal stressor! However, maintaining high quality friendships during the holidays is as simple as...

Why Humans Should Evolve to Live in the Ohio River

Stelle Bensenhaver, Satire Columnist October 19, 2022

The Ohio River. A staple of Louisville’s primitive trade market, the Ohio River’s impact on Louisville today is prodigious. But what if we evolved to live IN it?  The advantages of living in the...

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