"Did you know that no matter how many pretzels you eat you'll never feel full?" "Is that like science?" "No, it's like... the internet." "Matthew, Mark, Luke, & JOHN CENA!" "I just saw a girl...

"What if this spider bite thing got out of control and we had to evacuate the school and move to Maryland!" "No offense, but you look like a coconut."   "This is what sweet tea is supposed to...